Jaggery » Upon a Penumbra Lyrics

Incestuous Tendencies
music ~ Jaggery; lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

hey
hey you mother
the cord is not cut yet
well what did you think • would become of me •
what were you expecting

hey you father
i just want less to be ashamed of • i’ve so much of
what did you expect • i would make of myself
where have you been • my guardian

i wanna say • i wanna stay
i wanna say • wanna break away

hey you brother
when will you finally discover
oh that you should be • j-joining forces w/ me • (of course you should be)

& hey you my sister • i won’t speak in a whisper
don’t think i don’t see • you suffer • oh, it’s so familiar
w/ that smile on your face • so you’re taking my place
it’s making me sick • how dare you do it

i wanna say • i wanna stay
i wanna say • wanna break away
i wanna say • i wanna stay
i wanna say • wanna break away

hey you lover • are you just another
from which to recover • are you just another
well couldn’t you sense • my tendency for incest
watch us replace each other

& hey you over there watching the spectacle
ain’t it all just theater • theater • theater • theater
heeyyyeah

i wanna say • i wanna stay
i wanna say • wanna break away
i wanna say • i wanna stay
i wanna say • wanna break away

hey hey hey

What You Lack
music ~ Jaggery; lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

in my speak
fluency
you used to be
my buoyancy

what you lack
what you lack

my nature
my culture
do you apprehend
what you held in your hands

what you lack
what you lack. . .

welcome
me home

what you lack

would i
go back

to what you lack
what you lack . . .

Lady
music ~ Jaggery; lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

lady – ah • lady – ah

to love you is to leave you & separate
but i guess that he still needs you can’t walk away
so you both continue to participate
in this complicated elaborate game

tried to save myself from weeping kept open eyes
but the company i’m keeping it’s no surprise
you make it easy
for anyone like him to take advantage
hey lady • don’t be crazy

the lying & the cheating just to survive
& the heart just keeps on beating wanna see him thrive
he makes it easy
tempted by the potential in his eyes
hey lady • did he make you crazy?

i’ve seen how he treats you • i’m not impressed
but at least he doesn’t beat you, that’s improvement
look, no one gets hurt (haaa)
i can’t believe i’m standing inside this mess
hey lady • how much will you take?

intuition is not magical thinking is not intuition is not magical thinking

one ought to be so careful w/ who to trust
& learn that even love’s sometimes not enough
you said ‘welcome to my world’
yet here i am believing it’ll be different
hey lady • i must be crazy
oh lady • i guess we’re crazy

lady-ah • lady-ah

Fair
music & lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

yes i’ve been feeling so loveless
guess i’ve been feeling short-changed
guess i’m a mess you don’t wanna mess w/
& dirty your hands
but oh come on darling you love my madness
i’m not the cross that you bear
fair, it’s not fair
but whoever told you that it was gonna be fair

can’t say that i didn’t expect it
can’t say that i didn’t prepare
for my abandonment & rejection
au contraire
but fair, it’s not fair
well whoever told you that it was gonna be fair
oh fair, it’s not fair
but nobody ever said that it was gonna be fair

oh, where is the justice in this affair
oh, i guess i just trust us more than you dare
oh, you know how the saying goes
all about love & war, all about love & war

so let’s find out just how much two people
can manage to hurt one another
and go ahead call me ungrateful, i know
i’m impossible
can’t say that you are easy either, darling
insanity’s something we share
but if it’s an art to be your lover
i accept the dare
i don’t care, care
but fair, it’s not fair
but nobody ever said that it was gonna be fair
oh hey! no fair
that’s not fair, that’s not fair, fair
why can’t it ever be
why won’t you let it be
somebody said it’d be
just this once can’t we play fair

oh, there is no justice in this affair
oh, if you just don’t trust us, if you don’t dare
oh, & how does the saying go
all about love & war, all about love & war . . . yeah da da da da . . .

Small Town
music & lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

i expected the world • all i got was a very small town
now i want to feed you to my hungry wolves

at first i wanted to learn
each one of your lessons was a thrill
but now i find i only want to burn
& i find you only want to chill • only want to chill

maybe it’s like you say if you gave me diamonds
i’d want emeralds
perhaps i never saw you at all
& i’m only ever singing to myself • singing to myself

why do we settle • for so little
when we need • so much

i expected the world • all i got was a very small town
now i want to feed you to my hungry wolves • ahhhhh

calm down • chill out
burn baby burn • when will i learn

ohhhhhh

Paucity City
music & lyrics ~ Mali Sastri ©

now it’s all gone like it never happened at all
like it never happened at all
like it never happened

in Paucity City ~ i sleep through
the hour of my inspiration
in Paucity City ~ i meet you
but you’re on the wrong side of the street of desolation

& the train tracks & the train rushing past
& they don’t stop here & they don’t look back
& this town ain’t even on a map & it’s so cold
‘cuz it’s winter here everyday on the street in the soul
it’s lonely season ~ it’s a memory i couldn’t keep
& the population of this town is freezing

in Paucity City ~ i’ve become a scavenger
gnawing on whatever scraps i’ve found
in Paucity City ~ i’m one of the buzzards
‘cuz there’s never been enough here to go around

& the excess of nothingness
& the scarcity of everything else
& i wonder, how did i end up in a place like this ~ it’s so charming!
we’ve got emptiness aplenty, come & see
the streets & avenues of Paucity City
& the population of this town is starving

watch how they move you
watch how they go right through
& you beg for a smile

& the loneliness of this metropolis
the frozenness where the apocalypse
came & went & time absorbs itself & does not pass
& i walk down Empty Avenue
search these lonely streets for a trace of you
but the population of this town is dying

the scarcity
it’s an atrocity
of Paucity City

mama mama . . .

i’ve fallen so far mama mama
is the cord cut mama mama
think i need an exorcism
think i need initiation
mama a shaman mama a shaman mama
there’s no one mama

to humble me mama mama
to share my bounty mama mama
i can’t see straight i’m all bent out of shape

been living without language
half-living dreaming lucid

the world so far so long held at a distance
nothing nobody makes sense
& i do not trust a hope in this sad sad world
& don’t you know i need a healer
need edification
benediction
mama

someone humble this girl
someone come through
for her

drifting on the sea of sideways
unfamiliar unexplored highways
i don’t know to climb ~ don’t know how to climb this way

where you taking me ~ i don’t wanna go
why you taking me where i don’t wanna go

drifting on the sea of sideways
so obscure dangerous byways
i don’t know how to find ~ don’t know how to find my way

who are you to prod ~ who are you to pry ~ who are you to interrogate
who are you to tear apart ~ who are you to jettison ~ who are you to obliterate

drifting on the sea of sideways
why you so cruel ~ why you so nasty
i don’t how to trust ~ don’t know how to trust ~ i don’t know how to trust this way
i don’t know how to have faith

who are you to stir up ~ who are you to provoke ~ who are you to intensify the pain
who are you to weed out ~ who are you to rewrite ~ who are you to lead me to the gateway
who are you to care ~ who are you to listen ~ who are you to hold together
you are my flotsam ~ you are my jetsam ~ you are my captain, my captain

funny faces

baby makes funny faces
child plays • funny faces
child plays & makes funny faces

beyond, beyond reproach
beyond all reproach

she called me a monkey • my funny faces
she called me a monkey • my funny faces
she disapproved of his beatitude • his funny faces
she disapproved of my beatitude • my funny faces

but i was unassailable

laughing • smiling • satisfying
frightened • crying • growing • dying

don’t stop, don’t stop, your funny faces
even if you must keep them with you in hidden places